Made It Ma! Top Of The World!

Karen Carpenter would be proud...

Well, not quite the top of the world, although some might consider Edinburgh to be at the pinnacle of civilization.  Jimmy Cagney made it in White Heat (1949), and we made it in Walter Scott  Monument (2012).  Our reward for climbing 287 steps?  A certificate stating we accomplished the ascent.  


This activity is not for those with bathmophobia (fear of stairs), phasmaculaphobia (fear of spiral staircases), climacophobia (climbing or falling down stairs), claustrophobia (fear of enclosed spaces), acrophobia (fear of heights), or haphephobia (fear of being touched).  Or vertigo.  


The sign above the entrance read "Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here," and we felt that this would be a great family activity (no, there is no sign that says this...).  The initial 175 or so steps are not too bad, with occasional landings which allow people to stretch, regroup, huddle in a corner and cry, run in fear of the disembodied voices that are heard from upper tiers, or contemplate returning to the entrance.  

"Just rolling along, just rolling along"

"Something in the wind has learned my name"

The scene shifts, though, as one tackles the final steps.  As the stairs and the passageway narrow, it becomes evident that it may have been a mistake to attempt this feat with a large camera bag.  As we passed people, we engaged in a form of "Staircase Twister," in which participants contorted their bodies to allow others to duck under, go through, hop over, or brush past.  This made for some very awkward moments, and it was amusing to see the looks of hesitation as each party assessed the situation to determine who would be the "brusher" and who would be the "brushee."  (Note: if you undertake this climb, please use deodorant).

"You don't like my peaches, don't shake my tree"

Eventually we arrived at the top of the rocket-shaped edifice, and I told Melinda that when the world ends this monument is going to blast off and take a lucky few to a land of sheep and haggis.  The views were (and still are, I presume) absolutely astounding, and the effort was worth the result.  On our way to the bottom, we met two women from Texas, carrying multiple shopping bags and looking like rabbits just scared off of a riverbank.  They might still be in the monument....

Late Nite with Mark Leno...

We took some time out of our climbing schedule and toured the Camera Obscura, Latin for "dark room."  Using strategically placed mirrors, this scientific instrument offers a panoramic view of Edinburgh.  One will also find many, many illusions in the building, as we both discovered.