The Art of Random

Really?  No notice?  I'm just being sold?

Over the past several months, we have witnessed some rather random sights and sounds.  From food, to the World's Most Pierced Woman, to pitbulls roaming the streets gnawing on planks of wood, Scotland provided us with some memorable moments.

I'm expanding my business...

I now understand what it means to be a tourist.  It never occurred to me how noticeable this species is - the Hominidae touristata - until I observed this creature in its natural habitat.  It exhibits strange characteristics of folding and unfolding paper, glancing at it, turning it circles (like other animals), avoiding eye contact with other members of its species, and finally throwing away the paper and dashing hurriedly after moving vehicles.  The tourist also becomes angry very easily and is suspicious of those who speak in different sounds or tones.  Damp weather causes the tourist to become depressed, disoriented, and inclined to seek food and, well, alcohol, although upon being fed and watered the once-suspicious tourist is inclined to become more social.  It announces itself by presenting multi-colored clothing (t-shirts which read: 'Edinburgh is For Winners'!) and showing others that yes, indeed, you can wear four different tartans and be both attractive and multicultural.

According to science, this is me
as a monkey...

In Edinburgh, there are no cats.  Only white ones which seem to be afraid of Spanish accents.  There are plenty of rabid seagulls, and the box full of puppies and a ferret did, in fact, surprise even yours truly.  But people seem to pay no mind to these sights, and after some time you indeed forget to dodge the missile of a pigeon flying straight for your head.  They usually hit the brakes and you fly right by.

Who is that in the background...?  I
look like I am about to perform
a move from Karate Kid

In another episode of the Art of Random, Melinda and I ate at a wonderful Thai restaurant....while listening to the smooth vocals of Dean Martin and Nat King Cole.  To me, this would be like going to a Mexican restaurant in Danville and hearing the Bee Gees piped through the speakers.  


And let us not forget the people.  I have crossed paths with people whom I have not seen for almost 6 years, and I am still attempting to figure out if some of these sightings are coincidence or fate.  In St Andrews, perhaps it is not surprising as it is much smaller than Edinburgh; indeed, I saw five people I knew in one day.  However, to speak of your former landlord in the morning and then randomly spy him at a jazz concert in Edinburgh featuring the works of Leon Bismark 'Bix' Biederbecke, and then have him tell me that he and his wife were just discussing my banjo playing...please ponder.



Perhaps my favourite character in this wonderful, magical place called Edinburgh is Michael Jackson.  Yes, an odd beginning to a story, but for over two months Melinda and I occasionally glimpsed this elusive figure: he would walk quickly past us, spin, tilt his hat, and then disappear into the brewery-tinged air.  Finally, after a three week hiatus, he reappeared.  And we were ready.

Who's Bad?

We picked up these two near a pub

Ah, Scotland.  And last night, Melinda was pegged with a half-eaten candy bar that seemingly appeared out of the not-so-dark night.  Not to worry...the coconut and chocolate did not harm her.  

In my final days I am working on my powers of prophecy and telekinesis.  Which is good, because according to my good friend Jubilant Johnny, Scotland proudly boasts the largest grouping of registered Jedi Knights in the world, according to a recent census....the whisky must have medicinal properties....

'Stay and help you I will'!

And so it is.  

(Said in Yoda voice) Education leads to knowledge....knowledge leads to Edinburgh...Edinburgh leads to sunshine 

(I am the eternal optimist)