The "I'm A Landlubber Mini-Tour" Part Two

Working at DCC has its perks...
We rub elbows with royalty

I've resumed my normal blogging activities - yesterday it felt as if Edinburgh were a ship on moderate seas...


The J&E Landlubber Tour is, arguably, the most informative tour in Scotland.  And the best value.  Included in our getaway package were accommodation at the Hollow Leg Hotel, free advice on life, interesting tidbits about most people in the Fife area, and access to many golf courses and castles.  Day two found us chipper and ready to venture to the Isle of May; I made a profound mistake when I turned down Jubilant Johnny's offer of motion sickness tablets.  "I am," I boldly told Johnny, "the son of a Navy veteran."  If you are laughing at this juncture in the story, please continue...for those of you who commiserate with me, I thank you sincerely.

Isle of May, with the foghorn pictured
in the background

It is thought that the Isle of May - located six miles from the Anstruther harbour -  is approximately 290 million years old, formed from molten rock.  Now, this large mass of rock is a Nature Reserve, home to many species of birds and other wildlife such as puffins, seals, and rabbits.  Counting ourselves among those people eager to see a puffin, we boarded the May Princess at 10:45am and set forth.  

Battle stations!

We sat in the covered part of the boat, and I will say that I lasted twenty minutes before I bailed out and headed to the open air.  And to my credit, I resisted the urge to stagger from my seat until some other poor soul turned green and gestured for a bag.  So, technically I won a small victory.  I spent almost 45 minutes desperately clinging to a railing as five and six feet waves tossed this boat about (some old salts are pshawing the height of the waves, I'm sure...) and this quickly became the Isle of DisMay trip.  I kept looking about to see if the seas were parting, half expecting to glimpse a string of chariots roaring through.  No, I did not get sick, but all of Scotland (as noted above) is still bobbing.  It was freezing, and upon arriving on the island I could not talk because my mouth was so chapped and my eyes were streaming tears because of the wind.  To add insult to injury, we were attacked by angry Arctic Terns as we disembarked.  

This puffin has puffed out his chest...

Despite the green hue visible around my gills, I was able to experience something truly remarkable .  The Isle of May is stunning, and we were treated to a beautiful day of sunshine and scenery.  Puffins are, to be sure, smaller than I anticipated, and they carried with them a slightly anxious expression.  Perhaps they saw me coming with an unsettled look on my face...

Thompson's water seal...

The return trip was uneventful and I sang to myself to take my mind off of the waves.  I'm sure people thought I had "lost the plot," as I have heard people say in Scotland.  I ultimately staggered ashore, dazed and looking for a place to sit.  I have a keen sense of smell, and the aroma of hot fish and chips did nothing to soothe my stomach.  As I was feeling dubious, I decided to drink a ginger beer, eat some coconut ice cream and a box of the British equivalent to Junior Mints.  Why, you may ask?  I do not know, and I will say that should you ever become seasick, this is not the menu to ingest.  

I looked pained...

My wife did not get sick - it must be the sailing genes in her family.  A note to my in-laws: please have motion sickness tablets on hand in the future, as I think I may need them, even on the calmest of days.  Go ahead, Jubilant Johnny, laugh it up...

Isle of May