The "I'm A Landlubber Mini-Tour" Finale

Dunnottar Castle

Having sufficiently recovered after the tumultuous day at sea, Jubilant Johnny herded us into the Express and we set of for Dunnottar Castle.  


Located in Stonehaven (north of St Andrews) and once a stronghold of the Earls Marischal, Dunnottar Castle now is largely ruined.  However, the views are truly stunning. Also of note is the amount of tourists who talked to grazing cattle.  Why is it that people talk to cows?  I attempted to attract their attention with several cattle calls, but they did not respond to my American accent.  The cattle are prowlin', the coyotes are howlin', way out where the doggies roam....

Beach near Dunnottar Castle

Do not visit Scotland and assume that ruined castles are not worth your time.  In fact, these stone edifices contain more history in their skeletal state than some entirely restored buildings.  

The Scottish version of Angry Birds

After a tour of the ruins, we galloped to Stonehaven Harbour for a bite to eat.  I believe Jubilant Johnny intentionally ordered cullen skink - a Scottish soup made with smoked haddock, potatoes, onions, and a cream sauce - and wafted the aroma in my direction.  And I spotted this car; apparently some irritated gulls took out their frustrations on its bonnet (hood).    

Trek through the Highlands

The final leg of our journey took us through the Cairngorm Mountains and Braemar, a nice little village near Balmoral Castle.  After a meal of donner meat...what? Could it be that you some of your are unfamiliar with donner meat?  Well, pull up an ice block (my out-of-season tribute to Burl Ives) and listen to my tale.  Donner meat, in my estimation, is akin to spam.  Essentially, it is a compressed log of meat that continually spins on a spit, and a razor is used to remove the lukewarm flesh (essentially you eat meat shavings).  

Hey Grandpa!  What's for supper?

We've got Scotch eggs and whisky, with a big tin of beans,

Bap rolls and bacon and a pot of cullen skink.

Wagon wheels and a pint of ale, and for dessert quite a treat!

Spotted dick pudding and a pile of donner meat!

Yum, Yum!

Jubilant Johnny and yours truly

This entry would not be complete without a special thank you to Jubilant Johnny's First Mate, Sandra the Saucy.  She made our stay at the Hollow Leg Hotel most enjoyable, and her hospitality is unsurpassed.